If my week were a comic strip, you are the word bubbles everyone would read aloud to their friends.
“He says he hasn’t seen any boobs.”
Crossing the New Bridge on the way home from school, Cory has his second Bamako sighting of a shirt that says BOOBS. Assuming my brother secretly desires one of his own, I ask our all-knowing taxi driver if he has ever seen a boobs shirt. He responds in French with “No, I see B-O-B and B-O-S-S. But I haven’t seen any boobs.” I mentally translate and then without thinking give Cory the memorable line that triggers uncontrollable giggles and snickers. You’d think working with middle schoolers I could have seen it coming.
“Miss Flindt, you’re going to Superlative Prison!”
Merciless 6th graders! Unforgiving even when I was clearly reading the INCORRECT version of a sentence during our lesson on comparing adverbs. Their tests show they don’t hear 99% of what I say, but today’s 1% proved incriminating.
“Michael Jackson’s money is finished.”
Another gem from our dear friend and taxi driver Armee. Even thousands of miles away, news of Michael Jackson still makes the papers! I was also updated on the happenings of American Idol and BarakO. Despite how annoying it is to talk about Barak everyday on the way home, I’m am very pleased that at least Malians are learning the names of states other than New York, Texas, and Washington. (But will I ever be able to explain the difference between Washington the state and Washington D.C.?)
“Ne kuro muso a fato”
The proud moment came when my brother said his first Bambara sentence to me. After paying for countless language lessons and encouraging him through the frustrations of living in a culture where he can’t communicate clearly, this is what I got: My older sister has a mental illness.
“Miss Flindt, Is it true if you don’t know which guy you like, you should sit between them and see which one you cross your legs toward.”
Absolutely. This prompted a 10-minute discussion in American Literature (a class of only 3 girls) about other methods of deciphering which guy you like. Educational references included the game Phoebe uses on Friends where a series of pairs is given and you must respond immediately with the one you favor. I also introduced them to the popular pool game Categories where you get points by quickly answering questions. You jump in on 3 and someone shouts a category like “Boy’s Name,” wherein you must say a boy’s name before going underwater. Pretty sure that’s not in the curriculum.
“You are not fat now! You can wear the pants! But I fix the zipper.”
Happy Skinny Pants Day! My tailor Mustafa (no relation to Simba’s arch enemy) exclaimed with delight today as I brought him the two pairs of pants he had made in December but sadly have been sitting in my drawer waiting for Skinny Pants Day to come. The busted zipper incident was enough motivation to slim down. Thanks Mustafa! I don’t have a scale here, but I know I can count on you.
And finally, an honest and serious conversation with a struggling friend:
j.gray777: girls make my heart quake in fear
me: Glad it’s working. I’ll tell them at our next meeting what a great job they’re doing.
j.gray777: oh…awesome…you have meetings…it all makes sense now…it seemed so coordinated
me: We are a very organized gender, complete with pamphlets, seminars, and mentor programs
j.gray777: mentor programs…as if you all weren’t already genetically engineered for it?
me: Some girls are a little slow and need direction…you know the ones who are normal? We’re working on that.
j.gray777: lol ooooh. You all do a good job…I rarely run into normal ones anymore.
me: Can I quote you on that? We’re needing some promotional materials for our big campaign. I’d love to get your picture and put you on the cover of our next brochure.
j.gray777: yeah sure. any publicity i can get. i can do a pretty good confused face…will that work?
me: Yes, confused with a little pathetic and desperate mixed in. That’s our three-fold mission.
Thanks for the laughs,
Amber
2 Comments
April 23, 2008 at 9:51 pm
HA!
April 28, 2008 at 1:40 am
Boobs! Hahaha! I figured it was a t-shirt that said 2-Bob, then I thought the catch to it was 2-boobs! Hahaha….snicker, snicker…..I am what I teach!