Enter the mind of Hypothetical Student A with me. We’ll call her Sarah—your typical 16-year-old private Christian school sophomore. Bust out those inference skills you’re so fond of employing and assume she’s a Christian or has sufficient Bible training. Sarah is taking your Bible test as a part of the required annual standardized testing at her school.
She breezes through the first eight questions, only stumbling over the one about the difference between justification and sanctification—she was a bit distracted during that particular lecture with a slight chipped nail polish emergency. Suddenly, question 9 (The following is an actual paraphrase from a combination of students’ post test recollections):
Ben and Rachel are lab partners in Biology. One day, Ben asks Rachel to go to dinner and a movie with him. Rachel firmly believes she shouldn’t date nonbelievers. Ben claims he believes in God, but he’s not so sure about “all that church stuff.” Rachel thinks she likes him, but she’s not sure if she should go on a date with him. What should Rachel do?
(A) Go, she might get a chance to talk with him about God.
(B) Say no, she refuses to compromise her standards.
(C) Go, things will get awkward in Biology if she turns him down.
(D) Say no, she doesn’t like to date boys she is lab partners with.
Sarah has a momentary crisis dialogue, but quickly reverts to the proper test taking procedure: one must give reasonable consideration to every choice before making the bold move of bubbling in.
Choice A) Yes, definitely! Missionary dating is such the trend now! Rachel should totally go with him! Maybe he’d even choose a raunchy R-rated movie—then she could witness to him about why she isn’t allowed to fill her temple with such immorality.
Choice B) Well, if God has already convicted her that she shouldn’t date nonbelievers, then she is covenant-bound to say no. She could invite him to church camp or Wednesday night Bible study, but no dates. What would her parents say? Or worse, her friends?
Choice C) Awkward is an understatement! Boys never know how to respond to rejection. It will likely manifest itself through a series of actions including but not limited to ignoring her completely, teasing her about irrelevant qualities like her penmanship or taste in music, talking bragging about his new (but imaginary) girlfriend or car or awesome spring break plans.
Choice D) A girl’s got to set some boundaries. It gets too complicated when you date someone you work with—all that pressure of a fishbowl relationship. Take Ashley G. (singer in the worship band) and Kyle (the drummer). Doomed! After only one date. Plus, how weird would it be when they get to the reproduction unit? Eww!
Sarah reasons that it’s a Bible test, so she should base her answer on something biblical. After all, the objective of this assessment as stated by the testing company is to “measure mastery of the basic facts of the Bible, as well as the understanding of Bible content and the application of principles to life.” However, Jesus seems to have forgotten the parable of the sweet Jewish girl drawing water at the well and the squeamish Gentile who stammers, “Hey, wanna help me separate the wheat from the chaff?”
She continues: Jesus said go make disciples, but he also said flee from temptation and don’t let your testimony be ruined by bad company. He hung out with prostitutes and tax-collectors, but Paul says not to be “unequally yoked.” Maybe that’s just for marriage, and this is only…
Her mind melts to spaghetti. Every thought a slippery strand connecting to another until it becomes an indigestible mess of boys, crushes, dating books, purity conferences, parental lectures, and pressure.
You, writer of the absurd question, bring Sarah’s brain to boiling point until it loses its stiff independence and becomes submissively squishy. She simmers until finally filling in the answer she knows you have designed to be the correct one. Because if she were to really think about it, that’s what she’s been taught to do. Just fill in the right answer, and everything will be A(+) OK.
Let’s look at your demographic. As a Christian teenage girl, Sarah’s life is anything but standardized. Everyday she takes tests that don’t offer four simple options or have one right answer. From the relationship with her “perfect” Christian boyfriend to her daily battle with the mirror, she strives to fit the mold. To live the cookie-cutter life she has been bred into. To be the quintessential Christian!
This is why she bubbles in Choice B. Although she could spend hours debating the theology of your question—as God created her to be an analyzer by nature—the pressure of time limits and test scores pushes her to darken B and move on.
Ok, number 10: When Paul wrote to the Roman church, “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” what basic Christian objective did he then affirm to the believers?
The cycle continues. While her eyes glance at the clock, stomach ties itself in knots, mind attacks the question, and heart wraps itself around this moment, Sarah is distracted. No, not from your test. She is completely focused on recalling her memorization of Romans 12:2. Her attention is drawn away from what you should be testing.
Sarah gets question 10 correct, oh and number 9 too. Hooray! But when she still doesn’t get what Paul really said to the Romans about knowing God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will…when she finds herself in gray areas far shadier than Ben and Rachel’s, did you Mr. Testwriter really create a “valid and reliable tool needed for objective measurement of achievement?” I would say you failed.
Petitioning for a Choice E) ANSWER NOT HERE, WORK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF,
Amber
2 Comments
May 1, 2008 at 3:25 am
Wow, Ben doesn’t sound that bad to me. There’s lots of church stuff that I’m not too fond of myself! I’d definitely opt for your Choice E!
May 6, 2008 at 11:19 pm
What about us ADHD students that couldn’t make it past the second sentence of the absurd ‘long’ reading passages? We choose “C” or “D” because those are the most frequently correct answers.
Obviously, Sarah is not an “otter” because she would have chose “F” (go, have fun and worry about it later; life is short, party hard)!!