ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUMMER: VOLUME E

ENVIRONMENT, SAVING THE: It’s fun and trendy and sometimes ironically misunderstood
Dear Plastic Target Bag,
I know, I have some explaining to do.  On the fateful day of your death, this is probably what you remember: you were pulled from you cozy pile and opened up when a large Pilates mat was placed inside you.  This is [...]

ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUMMER: VOLUME D

DEMOCRACY: Only Johnny Carson could explain it better than my 8th grade textbook: “Democracy is buying a big house you can’t afford with money you don’t have to impress people you wish were dead…It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money…Democracy means free [...]

ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUMMER: VOLUME B-C

BILLBOARDS: intended—a marketing tool to draw patrons to use various roadside services or visit attractions; actual—the chief form of entertainment for weary travelers
Dear potential I-70 drivers,
Are you dreading that long stretch of pavement from Kansas City to Denver?  Wondering how you’ll pass the 9 hours of absolute boredom?  Maybe you foresee the inevitable monotony that [...]

ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUMMER: VOLUME A

AIRPORT: A place for planes to come and go, for awkward hello side-hugs and goodbye make-out sessions.  Where a pack of gum costs more than a gallon of gas and you can buy flowers and teddybears from a vending machine.  Where security is invaluable, wireless isn’t free, and people-watching is priceless.
It is exactly where summer [...]

To My Presently Departing Summer,

Clearly I have issues with letting go.  This would explain why I’m still wearing tank tops and sundresses.  In windy, rainy, fally weather.  And why I’m still listening to my beach bum playlists of Jesse McCartney and old school Smashmouth.  And why I’m still writing the month as 8 instead of 9.
Oh, but autumn is [...]