Dear (fill-in-the-blank),

Cory, Owning this jacket doesn’t mean you can pick up smoking and buy a motorcycle.  Get over it.
Dumpster Diving Dirty Santa Party, Best. Idea. Ever.  Here’s what we walked away with:
•    An ornament made of lent wrapped in a dryer sheet
•    MRE…yum
•    Crunk cup from Pottery Barn dumpster
•    Robin’s mask
•    A wet shoe
•    Broken glass
•    [...]