Encyclopedia of Summer: Volume M

MISSIONARY MOMENTS: what kept me going this summer; what might inadvertently end world hunger with pennies
Dear kind old woman who introduced me at my final speaking engagement,
Africa is a continent.  Not a country.  If I had a penny for every time you said “the country of Africa” in your introduction, I would be the richest [...]

To the Other White Girl:

Why did you leave? In a stadium of 2,000 Malian men, we’re supposed to stick together! You don’t know what a relief it was to see you at half time. I sat on the hot cement seat for a whole 45 minutes wondering what the heck was I doing at this soccer game [...]

To the Milkman:

I’ll get to you in a minute. But please read on.
In the car on road trip through Mali, L1 and L2 talk about where their families descended from. Small talk ensues. Then…
J: I don’t really know anything about where I’m from.
L2 (gasp!): How could you not know your heritage?
Shocking! How could she [...]

To Year Twenty-four:

Today was an ambitious birthday. So I’ve made some plans for us…
1. Take more naps. “I’d love a good nap. That’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.” –George Costanza
2. Wear any and all clothes that still have tags on them.
3. [...]

To me, on writing something worth reading:

You’re just an amateur. Don’t get too excited that a little group of bloggers chose one of your little letters for one of their little online collections. But take this moment of recognition to remember where you came from.
You were never a novelist. Or a poet. Or a playwright. You [...]

To the writer of the absurd question on a high school standardized test—Bible subtest:

Enter the mind of Hypothetical Student A with me. We’ll call her Sarah—your typical 16-year-old private Christian school sophomore. Bust out those inference skills you’re so fond of employing and assume she’s a Christian or has sufficient Bible training. Sarah is taking your Bible test as a part of the required annual [...]

To Husband, wherever you are:

Sorry to bother you, but I need some of your personal information for the adoption papers. You see, I cannot officially take these children home until I prove that you indeed exist. While I’m certainly convinced that you’re (cue Fievel music) somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight, these orphanages have their technicalities.
You [...]

Dear foxes of Dogon Country,

I have a proposition for you. Since the Dogon people so highly regard your decision making skills, I would also like to call on you for some prophetic words—or tracks rather.
Checking my notes from our 4-day trek through Dogon Country, I see that you are often used in predicting everything from births to harvests. [...]