Dear Google Search: My Life from January to July

A brief recap through your eyes, dear Google:
AJ McMath Ft. Worth, TX: Useless search engine. How am I expected to cyber stalk the love of my life unless you give me some results! His match.com profile was a little too perfect, so I wiggled my way into a facebook friendship. More evidence of perfection. [...]

Dear Friday,

You complete me.  Break out those mirrors because it’s time for some healthy reflection.
12:00am–Date with 007
All I needed was a stomach full of Taco Bueno and my four favorite guy friends to truly enjoy Bond.  Ah, magical!  I melt in the presence of tuxedos, fast cars, and British accents.  And I progress to full-on swooning [...]

Encyclopedia of Summer: Volume Q

QUOTES: brought to you by the JBU Denver Reunion, starring some witty girls who desperately needed to laugh for 72 hours straight
“If her kids are dogs, what does that say about her husband?” –Sara
“They look like crosses with the tops chopped off or like sideways Tetris pieces.”
“Sooo…a T?”
“I’m retarded.”
–Me describing the very strange shapes painted [...]

ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUMMER: VOLUME D

DEMOCRACY: Only Johnny Carson could explain it better than my 8th grade textbook: “Democracy is buying a big house you can’t afford with money you don’t have to impress people you wish were dead…It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money…Democracy means free [...]

ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUMMER: VOLUME B-C

BILLBOARDS: intended—a marketing tool to draw patrons to use various roadside services or visit attractions; actual—the chief form of entertainment for weary travelers
Dear potential I-70 drivers,
Are you dreading that long stretch of pavement from Kansas City to Denver?  Wondering how you’ll pass the 9 hours of absolute boredom?  Maybe you foresee the inevitable monotony that [...]

To Macaroni and Cheese:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow for the heavenly goodness in your every bite. Who can warm my heart like you do? Macaroni and cheese, food above all foods. I say your name as if I’m reading a book to a group of Kindergarteners and I’ve just gotten to the most [...]

To the One Percent, on the Global Day of Prayer:

99 to 1. The percentages are daunting.
But here you are–the powerful minority gathered in intercession for the lost majority.
And your 3,000 voices lifting up the nations looks like this…

Truly the most beautiful moment in all my time with you,
Amber

To me, on writing something worth reading:

You’re just an amateur. Don’t get too excited that a little group of bloggers chose one of your little letters for one of their little online collections. But take this moment of recognition to remember where you came from.
You were never a novelist. Or a poet. Or a playwright. You [...]

To this week’s dialogue:

If my week were a comic strip, you are the word bubbles everyone would read aloud to their friends.
“He says he hasn’t seen any boobs.”
Crossing the New Bridge on the way home from school, Cory has his second Bamako sighting of a shirt that says BOOBS. Assuming my brother secretly desires one of his [...]

To Mango Rains, on your arrival in Mali:

What am I saying? It’s not just an arrival, it’s a sweet welcome home celebration! You’re finally here! Our prodigal precipitation has returned at last! Bring robes and rings! Kill the fatted calf and let’s feast! For tonight it rained!
Far down the road we could see you coming. [...]