MISSIONARY MOMENTS: what kept me going this summer; what might inadvertently end world hunger with pennies

Dear kind old woman who introduced me at my final speaking engagement,
Africa is a continent.  Not a country.  If I had a penny for every time you said “the country of Africa” in your introduction, I would be the richest person in the state of Owasso.  Or I could use all of those pennies to buy you the award-winning children’s book Africa is Not A Country.

But honestly, how could I blame you for a silly mistake like that?  It’s obviously not your fault.  Who is to blame you ask?  Let us turn to the profound words of a famous orator whose widely quoted speech boasts over 30 million You Tube hits!  Miss Teen USA South Carolina wisely points out that,

“US Americans out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the US should help the US or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our.”

Well, duh.

So lady who introduced me, get a map.  Or just watch Miss South Carolina’s speech and you’ll feel a lot better about yourself.  I know I do.

Thanks for making my missionary moments more memorable,
Amber (The Missionary, in case you didn’t read my name tag)

ME, GUILTY MISSIONARY (GM): What should we do tonight? 

ROOMMATE BROTHER (RB): Save Africa.  We only have 4 days left.

GM: I was thinking we could watch High Fidelity.  I need a movie with narration.

RB: And John Cusack.

GM: You know me too well.

RB: So, the Africans dying and going to hell?

GM: Right.  About that….

2 hours later

GM: I love that movie.  Minus the cursing.  In its honor we should make the perfect compilation tape.

RB: To the iTunes.

A few hours and Reese’s pieces cookies later…

GM: Well that wasn’t the most productive use of my time.

RB: Did you know the Hawaiian guy who sang “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” weighed over 700 pounds when he died?

GM: Maybe if I put my life-changing playlists on my blog, it will prove to be just as valuable as converting Muslims.

And so with a prayer of absolution I present the product of my evening…

10 Songs that Encompass Everything I Think About When I Think About My Future Wedding:

1. Sundress by Ben Kweller because I will wear a sundress.  Not really.  But wouldn’t that be fun?
2. Oh, It Is Love by Hellogoodbye.  Yes, I think it is will be love.
3. You Belong to Me by Jason Wade (of Lifehouse).  Written as a war song during WWII.  All the makings of perfection: covered by Dean Martin, Patsy Cline, Bob Dylan…and good enough for Shrek and Mona Lisa Smile.
4. When You Know by Shawn Colvin from the super Serendipity soundtrack.  Sweet and lovely.  The crème de la crème of songs about fate.  Which I don’t believe in, but who cares.
5. Your Song belted out by my favorite Elton John.  And how fitting it will be when Ewan McGregor attends the wedding just to do his rendition of it at the reception, which will be held inside a giant elephant in Paris.  Also starring Nicole Kidman. And can-can dancers.
6. Book of Love by Peter Gabriel. Every word of it is true.
7. It Had to Be You by none other than Harry Connick, Jr. because Harry Burns knew all along that it had to be Sally Albright.  And because it means there’s hope for all of us who are high maintenance but think we’re low maintenance, the worst kind.
8. Crazy for This Girl by Evan & Jaron despite my brother wincing through the whole “gay” song.
9. All You Need Is Love by Lynden David Hall from every bride’s dream scene in Love Actually.
10. Stand By Me by Ben E. King.  Cliché, yes.  Classic, yes.  Still giving me goose bumps, absolutely.

And for packing purposes as we think about home…

Turn Off the Lights on Your Way Out or A Tribute to Home (Cory and I cleverly named our computer at home the lights on your way out so that at the bottom of the main screen the shut down icon would always read TURN OFF the lights on your way out.)

1. Home by a man who can write brilliance that sways my soul—Jack Johnson. But when I get home, I hope my lime tree isn’t dead like his was.
2. Closing Time by Greenday.  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.  Oh, how you speak to me Greenday.
3. We’ll Come Home with You by Philmore. Who rocks. And hails from Oklahoma.
4. I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Bing Crosby because my mother claims I promised her as a young and foolish little girl that I would never leave home.  But may Bing never make a liar out of me.
5. It’s Good by Better than Ezra.  Simply loved this song ever since my dear roomie put it on the soundtrack of our youthful college memories movie.
6. Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Nope, not from Alabama.  Wikipedia won’t even include Oklahoma as a part of the South.  But who doesn’t think of home when they hear this song?
7. Heartbreak World by Matt Nathanson.  Major props to Jenny for discovering this song, putting it on a CD, and sending it across the ocean for such a time as this.
8. Inspiration by our parents’ preferred listening Chicago.
9. American Pie by Don McLean.  Cory insisted on it.  Our parents love it.  Almost as much as they love us.
10. Run by George Strait chosen from among a slew of other country songs that express the same sentiments sung my Mr. Strait.  This one somehow is just right.

May this letter bring me just a little piece of redemption.  Or at least give me motivation to do something more with my remaining time in this incredibly amazing place of Mali. It seems I temporarily checked out before even printing off my e-ticket.  Just a little guilt to get me back on my missionary feet.  But I’ll probably get a taste of you tomorrow when I choose to organize the tupperware cabinet instead of some other worthy evangelical cause.  At least I’m honest,

Amber